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Nov 20  Written By Ann Krajewski, PsyD Takeaway: Perfectionism serves a purpose, but it can also have frustrating, painful consequences. My perfectionism quiz can help you get a better sense of whether you engage in these behaviors. Plus, I answer some common questions about perfectionism and offer my top tips for how to move forward. Maybe you’ve had a suspicion that you have perfectionistic tendencies for a long time. Maybe you’ve been told by others that you’re an overachiever or have impossibly high standards. Whatever brought you to this quiz, I see you. As a clinical psychologist specializing in therapy for perfectionism, I’m keenly aware of what perfectionism looks like, where it often comes from, and the ripple effects it can have on some unexpected areas of a person’s life. While perfectionism isn’t a mental health diagnosis like depression, anxiety, or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), it can still have a serious impact on a person’s well-being and quality of life. Plus, it often goes hand-in-hand with certain mental health struggles (more on that later). Understanding whether you display perfectionistic tendencies can be the first step toward healing. That’s why I created this perfectionism test. While it’s not a replacement for working with a qualified mental health professional, it can be a useful stepping stone in your growth journey. Who is this perfectionism quiz for? This quiz is designed for anyone who believes they may have perfectionistic tendencies. It’s not meant to diagnose mental health issues like anxiety. How accurate is this perfectionism test? There is no definitive test that will tell you whether or not you’re a perfectionist since it’s not a condition or diagnosis. However, the degree to which you identify with the following statements can help you gain insight into your own thoughts, feelings, and behavior patterns. Take the “Am I a perfectionist?” quiz here Take your time going through each of these questions. Reflect on how much (if at all) the following statements resonate with you to guide your answers. Afterward, you’ll get your results and some more information about perfectionism and anxiety. 1. Do you feel like you’ll never be good enough, no matter how hard you try? A) Yes, I often feel this way. B) I sometimes feel this way. C) No, I don’t usually feel this way. 2. Do you struggle to let go of control? A) Yes, I often struggle to give up control. B) I sometimes struggle to give up control. C) No, I don’t usually struggle to give up control. 3. Do you have difficulty relaxing, even on the weekends or over a vacation? A) Yes, I often have trouble relaxing. B) I sometimes have trouble relaxing. C) No, I don’t usually have trouble relaxing. 4. Do you procrastinate out of fear of failure or things not turning out exactly how you want them to? A) Yes, I often procrastinate for this reason. B) I sometimes procrastinate for this reason. C) No, I don’t usually procrastinate for this reason. 5. Do you tend to take things personally, including constructive feedback? A) Yes, I often take things personally. B) I sometimes take things personally. C) No, I don’t usually take things personally. 6. Do you experience unexplained physical symptoms like headaches, stomach issues, muscle pain, tiredness, or sleep problems? A) Yes, I often experience these symptoms. B) I sometimes experience these symptoms. C) No, I rarely experience these symptoms or I experience these symptoms, but they’re related to an existing medical condition. 7. Do you see yourself as very detail-oriented? A) Yes, I identify as very detail-oriented. B) I think I’m somewhat detail-oriented. C) No, I don’t see myself as super detail-oriented. 8. Do you avoid taking risks? A) Yes, I often avoid taking risks. B) I sometimes avoid taking risks. C) No, I can take healthy risks without a problem. 9. Have you received praise for being goal-oriented, high-achieving, or meticulous? A) Yes, I’ve often received this feedback. B) I sometimes hear this from others. C) No, I get complimented on other traits more often. 10. Do you struggle to ask others for help? A) Yes, I often struggle to ask for help. B) I sometimes struggle to ask for help. C) No, I can usually ask for help when I need it. Interpreting your results Let’s take a look at what your answers might indicate. Hopefully, this gives you some clarity on what might be happening for you. Frequently asked questions What are the different types of perfectionists? While there are certain common perfectionistic behaviors, each person is unique. The way perfectionism shows up for you might be entirely different than another person who identifies this way. In her book The Perfectionist’s Guide to Losing Control: A Path to Peace and Power, therapist Katherine Morgan Schafler outlines several different archetypes of perfectionists, including the classic perfectionist, the messy perfectionist, the Parisian perfectionist, and more. Reflecting on the different types can be helpful in building insight. Ultimately, however, I encourage you to work with a therapist to reflect on your own tendencies to gain a deep understanding of where they come from and how they affect you. Can perfectionism be a symptom of anxiety? It’s difficult to say whether one causes the other, but perfectionism and anxiety often go hand-in-hand. (Check out this study on the relationship between social anxiety and perfectionism.) People who struggle with anxiety might engage in perfectionistic behaviors to gain a sense of control over their emotions, environment, or relationships. At the same time, people with perfectionistic tendencies might experience anxiety when they fall short of their goals or make a mistake. According to the International OCD Foundation, perfectionism is also correlated with other mental health conditions, including OCD, depression, eating disorders, and more. How do I overcome anxiety and perfectionism? There’s no quick fix that will suddenly make anxiety and perfectionism disappear. In fact, striving for this is just a sneaky way of perfectionism asking for more control in an attempt to protect you from uncomfortable

Takeaway: If you struggle with self esteem, you’re not alone. Thankfully, with practice and intention, it is possible to build confidence. Here, I share some of my favorite therapy activities for self esteem to help you start feeling better about yourself.  Now more than ever, it can be difficult to cultivate healthy self-esteem. Social media and the internet in general can fuel our natural tendency to compare ourselves to others, and too often, we see ourselves as falling short. As a clinical psychologist who specializes in low self esteem therapy, I’ve seen firsthand how painful it can be to struggle with self confidence. At the same time, I’ve also seen that it’s possible to get to the root of these issues and silence your inner critic. That’s why I created this list of self esteem activities for you to try at home today. While they’re not a replacement for therapy, they can be a helpful first step (or supplement your work in counseling). Next time you notice feeling down on yourself, try one of my exercises. Who are these self-esteem therapy activities for? In my practice, I specialize in helping young adults. However, these activities can help anyone who wants to build self esteem. These strategies are meant to serve as an easy and accessible way to start feeling better about yourself little by little. Again, they’re not meant to replace mental health care or crisis services. If you or someone you know is in crisis and needs urgent support, please contact 988 or visit your local crisis center or emergency room. How can therapy activities for self esteem help? While these exercises won’t give you high self esteem overnight, they can help you Remember, boosting self esteem is a process, and it takes time and energy to change the way you think and feel about yourself. Don’t give up! You’re worth the effort. A clinical psychologist’s 8 favorite self esteem counseling acivities Building self confidence is a personal journey, so what works for one person may not work for another. Try out each of these activities to discover which ones feel best for you. 1. Follow through on your promises to yourself Staying consistent with yourself is a great way to build self esteem. Even seemingly small commitments like doing a 10-minute yoga practice in the morning or getting into bed by a certain time are opportunities to follow through on your promises to yourself. Over time, this can foster a sense of trust that you have your own back, which can contribute to your self worth. 2. Loving kindness meditations Dedicating time to practice cultivating warm feelings toward yourself is another effective way to work through self esteem issues. Many loving kindness meditations start by drawing to mind the positive feelings you have for someone else, then challenging you to turn those toward yourself. You can find several free loving kindness meditations on platforms like Insight Timer. 3. Self esteem worksheets If a written activity is more your style, consider trying a worksheet. There are tons of free self esteem worksheets available on Therapist Aid and other websites. Some may help you identify where negative self talk is showing up in your life while others may help you identify your strengths and other positive qualities. Find the worksheets that resonate with you! 4. Self esteem journal Similarly, keeping a self esteem journal can be helpful if you enjoy writing. Look for prompts online, use it as a gratitude journal, or write in a stream-of-consciousness style to figure out sources of negative self talk (and opportunities for self compassion). 5. Positive affirmations Saying positive affirmations to yourself in the mirror can feel cheesy, but it can be an effective way to grow your self esteem. Keep in mind that this doesn’t need to be forcing toxic positivity on yourself. It can be something as simple as, “I deserve love,” or “I am a good person.” You may not fully believe it at first—and that’s okay—but stay consistent and notice how it feels over time. 6. Intentional social media use Social media can be a source of both connection and comparison. It may be worth it to go through the accounts you follow on social media and remove any that don’t make you feel good about yourself. You don’t need to follow anyone that makes you feel bad! 7. Find a sense of purpose through volunteering While we want to avoid comparing ourselves to others, it can help to focus our attention on others for the purpose of getting out of our own heads. Volunteering for a cause you care about can help channel your energy into the greater good rather than getting caught up in self doubt. 8. Learn how to self-soothe Of course, no one wants to feel bad about themselves. However, it might not be realistic to avoid these feelings for good. No matter how much inner work we do, feelings of rejection, failure, and other uncomfortable emotions may still arise.  I encourage you to find activities to help you soothe these feelings when they come up. Everyone is different, so what works best for you may be different than what works for others. However, some ideas to try are taking deep breaths, listening to calming music, or taking a walk. When self help strategies for low self esteem aren’t enough: Advice from a therapist These strategies can all help you on your journey toward self acceptance. However, as I mentioned at the beginning of this post, they’re not a replacement for working with a mental health professional. Here are some signs that you could benefit from working with a therapist to build a more positive self image: These are just a few signs that I recommend therapy for improving self esteem. Get the personalized support you need to grow your self esteem. Right now, it might feel impossible to imagine feeling anything other than bad about yourself. I understand: many of my clients feel this way when we

Takeaway: Feeling paralyzed by anxiety can feel debilitating. It can hold you back from living your life in many ways. In this post, I will talk about potential reasons you feel paralyzed. I will also share ways you can try to manage when you feel frozen. Table of Contents: What are symptoms related to feeling paralyzed with anxiety? Why am I feeling paralyzed by anxiety? What ways can emotional paralysis impact me? What can I do when I’m paralyzed with anxiety and fear? How can therapy help me when I often feel paralyzed by fear and anxiety? It is the end of the weekend and you have a bad case of the Sunday scaries. You are sitting on the couch stressed by all the things you have to do this week. Your mind keeps replaying all the things you have failed to do over the weekend. You begin to beat yourself up for not being more productive. Your fear of failure of the future things you need to do skyrockets. You feel frozen. You can’t get out of bed. You feel like you can’t move because all you can think about are your failures and the ways you don’t measure up. All you want to do is be able to enjoy your last bit of freedom and relaxation. You want to go for a walk, bake cookies, or go to that workout class. But instead you feel crippled by anxiety. You scroll your phone or put on a tv show to try and avoid your thoughts. The next thing you know, it’s 5 pm and you feel like you wasted your day. This is one example of what it can feel like to be paralyzed by anxiety. If you struggle with anxiety, there may be times where you feel paralyzed to the point it is hard to do anything. This may increase your sense of frustration at yourself. You know there are so many things you need to get done but can’t help but feel stuck in place. It feels like you can’t move. Or you feel like crawling into a hole and hiding from the world. Your thoughts are telling you all that you need to do and why, but you can’t get off the couch. All you know is that you want this to stop. It is keeping you from doing things that are important to you but you aren’t sure where to start. Hi, I’m Dr. Ann Krajewski, a Therapist in VA, DC and WA. In this post, I’ll talk about what it feels like to be paralyzed with anxiety, potential reasons you struggle with paralyzing anxiety, what to do about it, and how therapy can help. Symptoms Related to Feeling Paralyzed with Anxiety While feeling paralyzed can be seen on a spectrum, here are some common symptoms you may experience if you feel emotionally paralyzed, as well as how they show up physically.